Terms & Conditions

2. Product Descriptions

We shop around to get the best prices. Because of this, product packaging is sometimes different to that shown in our photos. It's the same product inside, but may be differently named and packaged. This helps us to keep product availability up and prices down.

3. Returns

Please contact us to arrange return of goods at our expense. Except for faulty goods, items must be returned in the condition in which they were received, with any hygiene seals intact.

Your Legal Right to Cancel
The law provides you with an unconditional right to return goods to us up to seven days after you receive them (but see the VIDEOS section below).

Faulty Goods
If an item is faulty, return it to us within 90 days and we'll replace it for you at no cost to you.

Change of Mind
If, on inspection, you decide you don't want an item you can return it for a refund or a replacement within ten days. We reserve the right to deduct postage in both directions from your refund, as well as the cost of making the refund, though we usually waive this right.

Original Condition
Returned goods must be in their original condition. If they are damaged, we will not refund you, and we may ask you to pay postage to return the item to you. Note particularly that clothing items which are strongly fragranced through being worn or tried on by someone wearing perfume will not be accepted.

Wrong Size
If clothing does not fit, then we'll happily change it for another size or refund you within 10 days. Please make sure you are not wearing perfume before trying on clothes, as this will transfer to the clothing. We may impose a cleaning charge or reject a return if it is strongly perfumed.

Videos
The law makes an exception to your right to return in the case of videos, music & computer games where the seal has been broken, to guard against piracy. If you just didn't enjoy the video, we will not refund you unless you can convince us our description was inaccurate.

Please note particularly, the fact that our videos are all legal for sale over the internet, which means they are sometimes cut to meet the UK censor's requirements. This is generally what "Special Edition" means.

Most other Sex Shops won't tell you any of this, but they're selling what we're selling (and probably selling it for more!) or else they're operating illegally.

4. Delivery times

Our goal is to get your delivery to you as soon as possible. Lightening service is a big factor in making mail order successful. Toys, videos & novelties are usually sent out on the day of your order. Clothing can take longer - perhaps a week. On rare occasions clothes must be made to order, and this can take even longer. You can always contact us by phone or e-mail to check on the progress of an order. In the case of expected long delays, we'll e-mail you anyway.

If you have a delivery deadline, please inform us in the notes section of the order form. You'll see this when you come to enter your card payment details.

5. Small Order Handling Charge

If your order total comes to less than £5, the cost of processing it - paying commission to process your card payment - generating your delivery note, and doing the packaging and posting - tend to swamp the tiny income generated from the sale.

We therefore add a £1.50 Small Order Handling Charge to all orders under £5.

6. Payment & Deposits

Contract to Buy
When you place an order with us, you express the intention to obtain goods for payment.
Based on your order, we may obtain goods specifically for you, and we expect to be paid. If your card fails to authorize payment, we expect you to provide payment by other means.

Card Fraud
If, following payment failure, you are unresponsive to our attempts to obtain valid payment, then you have placed us in a difficult position. It looks from our perspective like you tried to obtain goods without intending to pay for them.
In these cases, we will take all reasonable, legal steps to obtain payment, which will generally involve contacting your card issuing bank, and sometimes may involve your local police force.

Goods are NEVER sent until payment has been obtained.

Deposits
We do not normally take payment until your order is ready for dispatch. However, at our discretion, we may take a deposit of up to 100% of the order value before we obtain your goods for you. This is generally for large orders, or orders from countries where we have experienced high levels of attempted card fraud.

7. Customer Service & Support

You can contact us for service or to complain by emailing us here between 10am and 4pm. Calls are charged at the normal national rate if you are outside Bedford - local rate from within it.

We generally reply to incoming emails within an hour or so during the day. Our goal is to reply to all emails and calls within 24 office hours.

Your complaints will be dealt with quickly, confidentially, efficiently, and decently.

If the unthinkable should happen, and we can't agree with you on a course of action, we are entirely happy to be bound by independent arbitration. This has never happened before!

You are always welcome to contact us during office hours,
on any matter that concerns you.